Back on the Blog!

I begin with a non-sequitur. Many of you know how famous France is for its strikes. But today the country reached a new apex in the field. At lunch in a lovely little organic restaurant inside our local market, we sat next to a very nice couple who informed us that today retired people in all of France are on strike. How can someone who does not work go on strike? You got me, and no one in the restaurant seemed to know or really think the question was worth asking, much less a funny topic. All I can say is that the action seemed to explain the masses of elderly people we saw all over the city today, waiting to go into comedy clubs, restaurants, movie theaters, you get the idea. "Hey Barb, we're striking today. Yeah, instead of coffee at the cafe, let's get 'em by goin' shopping instead!"

OK, sorry, had to share. Now for the serious part. The blog hiatus is over. Yes we are fine, as evidenced by the lovely photo to the left. So why have I left this blog untended for over a month? Two reasons, I think ("laziness," I am told by those in the know "is not a very useful word"). First, and if I'm being honest, the more important, is that I think I have begun to emotionally finish this trip - I have gone from not thinking about the end to thinking mainly about what life will be like when we return. That takes away from my enjoyment of the day to day, not to mention my desire to report on it to others. Second, and connected to this, is that it has been hard to do anything but stare at web sites and plummeting credit and equity markets every time I turn on the computer - it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, and it's really hard to just turn away. Over the last 10-15 years of being on or connected to Wall Street, I learned that in times like these, sometimes you just have to turn off the screen and get back to analysis and life. I have been poor at best at following this advice for the last 4-5 weeks.

The truth is that, despite my fascination with the financial abomination on display nearly every day, I do feel some perspective. On one day several weeks ago in which the market for financials - and Morgan Stanley's stock in particular - was taking its first of many huge dives, I began to take my stress out on my innocent children. Nothing awful, just a higher level of impatience and distraction on my part. As usual, they took my grouchiness in stride, forcing me into an epiphany about all this nonsense. I paused, sat quitely for a few minutes, and then gave them big hugs, saying "I'm just glad Wall Street can't take away you guys." Addy of course asked "What's Wall Street?" Having learned my lesson in front of the renaissance Crucifixion painting, I just ignored her question and asked if she wanted a cookie at 9 in the morning. That did the trick.

So how is Paris? It's pretty close to divine if I can just force myself to focus on it. While we loved Barcelona, we both agree that it's pretty much a cow town compared to this huge, international metropolis. What a place! The best thing is that I feel like our months here have allowed us to really get to know the city - having walked many of the same streets in the nicer neighborhoods now dozens of times. The food, the history, and just the beauty are pretty much everything I hoped they would be, and make this city one of the finest in the world.

We have settled into a comfortable routine - on weekdays, one of us wakes up with the kids, feeds them breakfast, gets them dressed, and plays a while with them (all with the help of Eryn, of course), and then we both head out to the gym for an hour or so. Exercise has been a great addition to my life, and it has been years since I have felt this good physically. Indeed, some modest weight loss (and prodding by Rob and Jill) persuaded me to buy a rather tailored winter overcoat and sweater, both of which help keep me from eating that fifth pain au chocolate each morning in the hopes of still being able to fit into them when I return home.

We typically get back from exercising in time to meet the kids back home after they've been out at the park with Eryn. They eat their lunch and get ready for a brief nap before heading to a small pre-school program we've enrolled them in. In contrast to the lovely all-Castillian program in Barcelona, this one is in English. While we couldn't have been happier with the Barcelona kids and teachers, both Rob and I still feel pangs of guilt for having sent them into a context in which they would be entirely unable to communicate. The language obstacles were in fact so significant that we heard back from teachers after the first few weeks that the kids had actually been hitting, something we all agreed was a direct by product of the language barrier. Cory and Addy impressively desisted immediately after we spoke to them about it, but we had no desire to inflict the same stuggle again, let alone in an entirely new language. I am pleased to report that on day one of the Paris program, the kids walked into the new classroom, saw the other children and the toys, and yelled "bye!" over their shoulders as they ran to join in. I feel strongly that one of the positive things our kids have gotten out of this trip - and I do not think it has been all positive for them - is a greater ability to adapt to new circumstances.

After watching the kids go - usually uneventfully upstairs with Eryn for their naps - Rob and I often head out for lunch and some sight seeing. Depending on the day and the agenda, lunch is typically of the bistro variety, which is to say delicious, but perhaps not the healthiest. And the sight seeing has often focused around museums or gardens, of which we have now seen many, but still have plenty left on our to-do list. Rob sometimes skips the sight seeing in favor of continuing to write his book. On this topic, Rob has chosen a couple of generous souls - both well-versed in the genre he has chosen - to read a preliminary draft of his first chapters. Indeed, writing this book has become Rob's garden away from his garden - something he chooses to do with his free time mainly because he enjoys it and finds it gratifying. If he can turn it into a career, all the better, but those of us who love him are just glad he's found yet another passion. And before you ask, no, I do not have any hopes that this will mean a smaller order of bulbs next year.

An exception to our routine is that on Wednesdays I typically take one of the kids somewhere on my own. The first of these trips was to the Louvre, as I described in previous entries. Since then, I have taken both Cory and Addy on solo trips to the BatoBus - a sort of water taxi - as well as to multiple museums and parks. Here are links to some pics: Addy on the boat, Cory on the boat/Musee D'Orsay, and Cory at the Centre Pompidou.

We return home on most non-Wednesdays at 5 or 5:30, in time to be greeted enthusiastically by the kids on their way home from school. The return is marked by two traditions - 1) an attempt to surprise us, which usually backfires (we can hear them coming and take great pleasure in startling them) and 2) regaling us with something they have seen (typically an ad for a movie or show) on their 15 subway stop commute ("Dada, we saw CAPTAIN HOOK today!!!"). We then spend the next few hours eating dinner, playing, bathing, and watching a little video of some kind before bed.

The weekends, of course, are different, and we have the kids to ourselves for two days. We typically do something more ambitious on one of the days - like head to Disneyland when Jill was here, or an extraordinary garden with lots of amenities for kids (huge slides, four person bike-contraptions, and a kid-sized car ride, not to mention free outdoor orchestra music every afternoon) on the outskirts of town.

Mainly, I think the kids are doing great, and I feel like we are doing really well with them. It may have taken months of practice, and clearly their getting a bit older has helped, but I no longer fear having to care for both of them on my own. Perhaps it's partly watching Eryn do it so gracefully, but it's also largely about getting to know them, their needs, and their patterns much better. Thank you, sabbatical. This has translated into a much less pronounced preference by the kids for Rob over me at key times like reading books at night or going to run errands. They seem to enjoy both of us now, which certainly feels much better, even if it could change when I return home and start a more rigorous work routine again.

Our typical routine has been interrupted for the positive in the last few weeks by a string of visitors. First, Jill made her third and final treck to Europe, this time for five days. As usualy, her presence was an amazingly calming one for the kids, and I don't think she'd disagree if I said the highlight was a trip to Euro Disney we all took (including Eryn, an ex-Disneyworld employee, who tagged along to help show us the ropes). The kids are obviously still a bit young for Disney, but they did seem to thoroughly enjoy certain things. Among these was the "It's a Small World" ride, which I thus had the great pleasure of enduring something like five times, and, more importantly, a live appearance by Mary Poppins herself. Ms. Poppins provided what was no doubt the cutest moment of the day, when, during a brief silent moment during her crowded performance near the entrance to the theme park, Cory yelled "I love you Mary Poppins!" Judging by the tone of his voice, not to mention the number of times he insists on watching the movie, he meant it.

We were also joined in Paris in by my folks, who came for what turned out to be an eventful few weeks. I think, in all, they actually fell in love with this city, if only because the food is so undeniably fantastic, but they also had to endure some trauma along the way. First, as many of you who know my mother's bird-like eating habits (with the exception, of course, of ice cream, candy, and pastries of any kind, which she will consume voraciously when given an opportunity), the cuisine of the city took a little getting used to. Indeed, she does not enjoy eating meat, and Paris' most famous nod to vegetarians is an haute cuisine restaurant that has (gasp!) eliminated all red meat from the menu. Needless to say, the cream sauces, frites, and healthy portions at traditional brasseries took a little getting used to.

No sooner had they adapted to the eating habits here and spent a few half-days with the kids then Rob and I took off for a few alone days in Rome, leaving them to cope with the children solo. We had, of course, learned that this could be a traumatic experience for virtually anyone, when even Jill and her all-loving friend Ginny expressed second thoughts about having cared for them on their own while we took a different trip to Venice from Barcelona (Jill returned from the trip so exhausted and depleted - though happy, of course - that she ended up sick and in bed for over a week). Needless to say, my folks were a little traumatized by the workload, and this was made worse by being pick-pocketed twice during visits to tourist attractions with the kids while we were gone. My mom says she's never coming back, but I know the chocolate and pastries here are too good for her to be able to resist. Childcare and minor theft trauma aside, it was great to have my folks here, and we were thrilled that they got to spend so many uninterrupted days getting to know our children better.

Our third - but certainly not final! - set of visitors was Steven and Nina Lerner, who came for a long weekend vacation. The trip was a very big deal for them not just because it involved a significant flight - Nina is not a plane fan - but because it was a rare time away from their three lovely kids, whom they left in South Orange in the able hands of Nina's mom. While Rob and I thoroughly enjoyed being with our respective parents multiple times on this trip, Steven and Nina's visit was a welcome opportunity to hang out with peers, and we loved it. We loved showing them the city, the food (they are true foodies as well, making the meals even more fun), and the life we have built here. They promise us they had fun too.

Well, that's it for now - sorry again for the long pause in entries. I promise to be back with at least one more discussing some of the things that seem most important about our trip in hindsight, if not some advice for others thinking about taking some time off.

* Trips we took to a fantastic botanical garden on the outskirts of Paris with both Jill and my folks - rides for kids, free orchestra music, and lovely flowers included.

* A trip we took with our friend Emily to Park Asterix - France's somewhat feeble answer to Disney. Think all the crowds, but about half the fun and customer service!

* Some pics from Cory's 4th Birthday Parties - I use the plural because many visitors insisted on mini-celebrations before the actual day. I also have some pics from Jill's pre-birthday party, for which she baked a "house cake."