The O-Gs Head for the Hills

I am aware that few of you will have sympathy for me when I complain about the many logistical headaches involved in taking two toddlers to Europe for six months of sabbatical from work. This means that my story of a recent 10 day departure from our comfortable apartment in Barcelona will probably cause more chuckles than sincere expressions of concern, but I nonetheless offer it to you as an introduction to an otherwise lovely 10 day trip we took with my parents to the Alps (I'll get to that part in a sec, bear with me). I have included a guest blog entry written by my dad about the trip below.

Telling the full tale of leaving for this alpine excursion brings us all the way back to four or five months prior to our departure for Europe itself, when Rob and I (OK, mainly...OK, almost entirely Rob) began our quest for an appropriate living space for our family (including our fabulous nanny, Eryn). We knew that European cities are not famous for having big apartments, but we little understood just how slim the pickings would be. You see, our two lovely children are basically unable to share a room with each other. Addy has a lovely habit of talking herself to sleep (among the cuter things you will ever hear in your life), but her chatter can continue for in excess of an hour, which poses a real problem for Cory, our eldest of three years who wakes up if so much as a fly buzzes in his room. This meant that we needed at least four bedrooms (or something equivalent), let alone needing additional space in which our numerous overseas guests might lodge. The responses of real estate agents when we explained this requirement was amusing, best described as a sort of puzzlement that anyone could want, let alone expect to find, such opulent accommodations, even if we described our budget as "flexible."

After weeks and weeks of searching, in which we thought we had found something, only to be told that it was no longer available - usually right after submitting some sort of form requiring us to mention the presence of our two cherubs - we found the place we ultimately settled on, known as the Joyce Apartment to the agency we used. The first problem with the Joyce, as you loyal readers who saw the photos included in my second ever blog entry will already know, is that its dominant color scheme is white (furniture, kitchen cabinets, floors, you name it). This, we correctly assumed, could be largely overcome with liberal use of cheap blankets and coverings to protect the spotless decor.

The second problem seemed like more of a minor inconvenience: The apartment had already been leased for a 10 day period in the middle of July. No worries, we naively thought at the time, we're planning on doing a lot of sightseeing in Europe, and we'll have to be travelling relatively light as well, so we can vacate for a week if it means we can get so much space in such a great location. This thinking, it turns out, violates two natural laws of having toddlers: one never (and I do mean never) travels light with two toddlers, and one doesn't simply flit from city to city enjoyably sightseeing with two children under four. No, not even with a nanny.

This brings us to July 10, a day that will live in infamy for its logistical challenges, let alone for almost ending our marriage. The bottom line, as you can already tell, is that vacating the apartment was as far from a piece of cake as can be. First, you need to know that I hate to pack. I really, really, really hate to pack. I hate having to decide ahead of time what I will need and what I won't, and knowing that if I am wrong I will be too far away from all my stuff to correct the problem. Deciding how to invest a few hundred million bucks, I can handle, settling on how many pairs of shorts versus jeans to put in a suitcase is for some reason infintely more challenging. It makes me really grouchy. And that makes Rob really grouchy.

Now imagine Rob and I packing 10 boxes (remember that "traveling light" idea?), each labeled with three potential destinations - non-critical stuff that can go to Paris, critical stuff that is too heavy to take on our 10 day "vacate vacation" but too important not to have when we return to Barcelona and must therefore but put in an obscure mini-storage facility, or stuff that we never should have brought to Europe in the first place (e.g. 10 adorable little girl dresses that just don't work well on the playground the kids visit every single day) and must therefore be sent back home again. This is not to mention a fourth category of what to take on vacation with us or trying to finalize plans for said vacation in the Swiss alps with my folks. Expressions of sympathy (rather than chuckles) most appreciated here, no matter how insincere.

I am pleased to report that we persevered, as we always do, but had one doozy of a fight during my stint navigating the treacherous streets of Barcelona and then attempting to parallel park a large moving truck I had picked up in the aptly named rough neighborhood of Badelona. Call it part of the unexpected cultural experiences of a six month overseas sabbatical, but I just say that it sucked.

That was the bad part. The good part was a resulting 10 day vacation we took with my parents (the famous Mimi and Papa) in the the mountains of Austria and Switzerland. I have allowed my parents the privilege of writing a guest entry, much as Jill/Yaya did for her trip here some time ago. You will see my dad's entry below in blue).

In order to avoid stealing their thunder, I offer only the preceding departure story and an ever so brief synopsis of the trip itself. We began with three mainly rain filled days in Salzburg. We chose this first destination not just because of its beauty, and certainly despite Austria's penchant for electing ex-Nazi or fascist-leaning leaders, but instead mainly in order to retrace the steps taken in our children's absolute by far all time favorite movie - the Sound of Music (otherwise known as "Lady Singin'" or "Sound of Meeker" by Cory when he was less able to articulate). Our kids visited the Doe a Deer steps where they put on a brief performance for other tourists, went to a local Sound of Music show (starting at 9pm, no less), and only melted down about eight times on the first day of our trip (do doubt leaving my parents wondering why they needed 10 days instead of just three in Europe). Oh yes, and I should mention that my Dad, poor soul, was bedridden most of those first three days with an apparent Prostate infection, so his most noteworthy sightseeing was done in a local emergency room. Oy. If I weren't nicer, I would say it was all cosmic payback for the time he grounded me when I came back just 3 hours after my 11pm curfew with a bottle of tequila in my car trunk back when I was a high schooler who didn't know any better. But that's another story for another blog.

Salzburg was followed by six glorious days in Pontresina, Switzerland, which is nothing short of breathtaking and is (to appropriately steal a Julie Andrews expression from a different film) practically perfect in every way for kids. We took about 50 different funicular (known in our family as ferklinken) and cable car rides, did a fair amount of hiking, helped the kids skinny dip twice in mountain streams, and visited a fabulous indoor water park at which the kids had their first taste of real, bonafide twirling in the pitch black tube slides. Rob did a fabulous job navigating innumerable bus, tram, and train schedules as well as complex hiking maps, not to mention finding us two great hotels. The food was mediocre and overwhelmingly heavy, but our hotel was awesome and I think I speak for all of us when I say we all had a lovely time together (and 10 days is a heck of a lot of together time for Ostrowers, at least).

I have posted the Salzburg photo albums here and the Pontresina Album here.

VICTOR AND VALERIE BLOG for July 2008 – Salzburg, Switzerland and Boston Uneventful trip from SA to NYC. Our flight from JFK to Munich on Lufthansa was also uneventful, but the food made American Airlines’ seem gourmet. Our arrival in Munich was easy, and we only had to wait 4+ hours for the Ostrower/Gregson contingent to arrive. An antecedent moment of anxiety accompanied a rather urgent call from Matt the night before because of his fortunately mistaken fear that they had the wrong time for their plane. Our wait took place in our own fog of jet lag in an airport with almost no public seating. We did nap on a patch of grass, but no really good rest. However, nothing could dampen our pleasure in greeting Cory and Addy as they screamed and then ran to see us in the arrivals area. Our commute into Munich and then a four hour ride to Salzburg was on packed, hot, non-A/C trains, and the 4 of us hauling enough baggage that I’m sure we looked like refugees. From there we took a train to Salzburg for a few days in the shadows of “Sound of Music” and Mozart. Despite the luggage, we required only 2 cabs to get us to our cute, small hotel in the old city.

Salzburg became a monsoon rain experience that literally “dampened” some of our excursions. Worse, an episode of fever, multiple aches and pains, perineal pain, and blood and pus in my urine surely slowed me down [thanks for the colorful explanation, Dr. Dad]. I apparently had an acute prostatitis and subsequent epididimitis. I spent my visit to the mountain castle that afternoon sleeping on a hard bench while everyone else walked around and played with marionettes. At least they had fun.

We went to an emergency room the next AM. Our hotel directed us to the non-trauma hospital and told the cab where to go. The hospital layout reminded me of my visit to the hospital in Leiden in 1967. It appears that many European hospitals are laid out in multiple buildings over many acres for different departments and specialties. There we were on an early Sunday morning searching for our destination ER with not a soul around in uninhabited buildings largely devoted to out-patient services. Val finally found someone who pointed to a red button by a door that ultimately put us into an internal medicine ER. We were their only clients. They very pleasantly did a rather superficial evaluation, started me on an IV dose of Augmentin and then acceded to our request for Cipro as the preferable drug for my miseries.

The rest of our group puttered around the city as I took it easy. I did get to go by Mozart’s house, but I missed the Mirabelle Gardens which were a big pick up for Rob and the steps on which part of the Sound of Music film was made. The kids did get to take in a “Sound of Music” musical performance that they loved, and Valerie thought was as cheesy as could be.

M&R had booked a 6 passenger van for our trip from Salzburg to Switzerland. It might have accommodated us if we didn’t have luggage for 15, so we had a Burger King lunch waiting for a 9 passenger vehicle to arrive from the airport. Our scenic ride over several hours took us to the very charming town of Pontresina just a few miles from St. Moritz in the southeastern Switzerland Alps not very far from Italy.

Pontresina was a pleasure. Our SteinBok hotel was immaculate and services were very warm.

The population of tourists consisted almost entirely of hikers and bikers. Some were young and some old; some ridiculously fat and others lean and fit. Almost everyone hiking had high-tech looking walking sticks (sort of like ski poles). This appeared as an affectation to the point that we were surprised to be allowed on the trails without them. However, several people told us that they really help. Many older people wore hiking knickers (often leather) with or without traditional knee socks. Everyone wore expensive hiking boots and had a backpack. These items were a uniform! These folks take this stuff very seriously which only amused us. Most bikers had rugged mountain bikes, many with multiple shock absorbers. But a lot of these quite old folks (we were middle aged by comparison) and really overweight people just went at their hiking and biking with a vengeance and apparently little effort. They could ride up long hills that would kill me, and I do a fair amount of riding. These folks are pretty damned tough. Many had small kids that went right along.

Cory and Addy are something! Each is very different from the other. Cory is very outgoing and active, as you all know. When he is happy, his spirit suffuses surrounding space and infects surrounding people. When unhappy, terror reigns. He can cry at a cochlea vaporizing level. His mind appears to be working constantly, but often in what appears to be mischievous ways. He can be contrary and defiant such that reverse psychology would seem to be an almost pro forma approach. Matt and Rob really deal remarkably well with him. Their patience and their abilities to distract, give choices, and appropriately ignore him are close to virtuosic. I was terrible and coped poorly in part from my own challenges dealing with kids and no doubt because I was feeling rather poorly as well.

Addy is very different. She’s very quiet and measured, but it’s obvious that her mental processes are very active behind her elfin countenance and subdued manner. She has only an occasional tantrum that can be impressive in its own right. Valerie is incredible in her inexhaustible energy and enthusiasm and her ability to relate and play with these kids. She’s awesome and a bit daunting with her inventiveness, her ability to make up new songs, stories and games, tear around and simply join their worlds.

Matt and Rob deserve real kudos for their decision to try to take such a significant period of time trying to enrich all of their lives and experiences with their European adventure. I can think of almost no other couple willing and able to carve such a segment of time away from their professional activities and ordinary lives in order to try to add to their spiritual experiences as a couple and as a family. I suspect that this hasn’t been without some costs and unappreciated stresses. They probably underestimated the difficulties and stresses of their being in new cultures, being non-fluent at best in Spanish, and being in such close and unbroken one to one proximity with their kids and themselves.

Watching people around us respond to this very unusual family grouping has also been interesting. Switzerland is very white with very few people of color to be seen even in service capacities, much less as tourists (this despite the fact that very large numbers of service workers are immigrants). I think that relatively few can quickly figure out what’s going on with us. That these are adopted kids may be a relatively easy guess, but why there is no mother and who these older folks are is probably more baffling. Young people and teens just kind of stare, apparently not having seen this and not having the sophistication to be more subtle. Older people seem to vary rather widely. A few seem sour and dour and may just be that way regardless of us. I couldn’t tell if they are “disapproving” or just puzzled. Many may just be grouches and grumps and our presence may be rather coincidental. Some older women look for a moment and then just smile and beam and some just have to reach out and enjoy, hug and touch (especially Addy’s hair with it’s tight curls and luster). Others seem to look for a while and then usually smile and seem to take pleasure in such cute kids. I don’t think we’ve encountered any kind of negative reaction or comment. I suspect that many really don’t know what they are seeing in terms of adoption or other unexplained (gay) relationships.

We took several cable car and telacabine rides to the tops of mountains. One gave us the chance to play in some fresh snow, which we all enjoyed – Cory proved surprising adept at aiming snowballs at me in particular. (The vernacular for cable cars, funiculars, gondolas, and telacabines is confusing. Some run on tracks with cars running in tandem vs. cars that are paired and balanced with another car in the opposite direction; and others use gondola like cars either in tandem or balanced. (These distinctions are not clarified by Wikepedia.) The rides were entertaining for the kids and for us and offered some spectacular vistas.

We should be ready to publish our catalog of Swiss playgrounds which we found at hotels, in towns, in the country and at the tops of the several funiculars that we rode. Most have Zip Lines, which the kids love, but alas, Cory got his finger pinched in one of the cable suspensions which led to many tears and probably some self pity. I was the one pushing him, and I still feel badly. Our hotel shared a great pool and Jacuzzi with another hotel and gave us much fun and allowed the kids to be free for long periods. Pontrecina also had a wonderful pool complex in the center of town. A lovely heated kiddie pool with a small slide, fountains, moveable dams, etc. kept them busy and entertained even if it was cold outside. There was a large adult pool inside, but there was also a complex of variably heated larger outdoor pools and a huge “whirlpool like” section that propelled you around a large stainless steel ring. Matt and I and the kids thrilled at a great enclosed water slide which was black inside to start and then became black with white neon like stripes and other changes as we hurtled down. Materials and construction were impressive. All of this was in view of beautiful mountain and glacier vistas in crisp mountain air.

We saw a lot of solar energy cells on roofs in Austria. Mass transportation was quite good everywhere. The trains were very quiet and all were electric and comfortable. It certainly made us all think the US could do with a few more “welfare state” services, not to mention European environmental consciousness.

We finally returned to JFK after a night in Munich at a very nice and surprisingly reasonable hotel (suspect tourism is down and while some prices were high, they weren’t out of sight).

Up to Boston the next day and here we are with Dan, Coreen, Sam and Shawn and the kids. This has been very relaxing and the kids are wonderful. Simon had very few “moments”, and he’s doing quite well. Cute as can be! He smiles, coos, chuckles and looks intently and those around him. Last night, Val took care of him for several hours (despite parental anxieties) and he apparently did great. I sat with Josh and Dunc and it was nice to give their parents a little break. We’ve just been chillin’ with everyone, some museums, the pools at the JCC and Sam’s apartment house, etc. Sam and Shawn’s apartment is beautiful, spacious, has a lovely view, and has underground parking and a very nice pool. It’s so nice to see them being able to live comfortably. I guess there can be benefits to leaving the Big Apple.

Back to NYC tomorrow and to San Antonio on Tuesday. Life is good!!